Monday, March 16, 2015


 I am finding that the amount of food I put into my mouth is a struggle sometimes. Mentally I want to eat what I want and not worry about it. I still have to talk to myself in my head that is that really worth the putting on a pound for. I know I am going to battle with my head for the rest of my life but I didn't realize how much it would be at first.

As I sit here eating my frozen tilapia with 13 g. of protein and only 80 calories, I want to add french fries and some sort of veggie (now remember this is my head talking). I am finding out you can't change 40 years of bad eating habits in 5 weeks. People think weight loss surgery is an easy fix boy are they wrong, this is definitely just a help to get me started on my journey but I have to continually make the right decisions for my body.

I have not had a diet coke in 7 weeks and you know I thought I would miss it but honestly I really don't (victory number 1). Diet coke for me before surgery was my go to drink and I mean I drank it and nothing else 6-8 a day so to give it up totally and not want it is a victory. My other weakness before surgery is candy any kind of candy peanut butter and chocolate was my favorite but I would eat any.  So with Easter coming this will be a challenge for me but I can do it. I will  not eat a Easter basket full of chocolate.  The struggle with food is definitely a real struggle that so many people think you can just turn off that is so NOT THE CASE.  If you are a person who has never struggled with weight please do not judge others who do, because you do not understand. Just like I do not understand what it is like to be a drug addict or an alcoholic. We need to be understanding to those with addiction problems and not judge them or tell them how to FIX IT. I know eating less and exercise helps lose weight but before surgery I couldn't get it done. 

For my job I work in the public and because the facility is old it is not set up for Obese patients and  for a patient to not be able to fit through a door or fit in a chair (or have to ask for a different chair because they won't fit in one with arms) is as embarrassing for the person asking as it is for the person who has to help. Please when you see someone who doesn't fit the "normal" standard don't judge do not make rude comments have compassion and understanding that they may have gotten themselves in this situation but it wasn't because they wanted to get fat or become a drunk or a druggie, or for some they may be born with a handicap, but whatever the situation and whatever the reason they need compassion.  Now I don't think we need to encourage the behavior but we need to listen and if we can't help find someone who can, but sometimes we just need to talk. Sorry this post is rambling a bit, but I am coming to a better understanding of what an addiction is. I have an addiction to food that I need to change. 

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