T-60

Well I officially hit 60lbs lost!!! I have struggled with the scale the last few weeks everyone tells me the scale becomes your worst friend during this process well I agree. I don't understand when you are eating so little how you gain weight, but it happens whether it is muscle weight gain or still eating some not healthy things (because let's face it you are still you and you got heavy because you like food). I have decided through this process I am a sugaraholic " not alcoholic" but just as bad because to much of anything is not good for you!  As I type this morning eating my egg whites and turkey bacon I also find I like the good foods as well, but see they take time and energy to make and that is my problem I want fast and easy (convenient foods). So to help with my convenient foods need, I have created a mommy snack drawer with edamame snacks, almonds, low fat peanut butter (which is a new addiction) protein bars and 90 calorie snack bars this does help. My other thing I have found this week I love is sugar free jello with skim milk and sugar free cool whip (sweet treat low fat).

I know I have said this before but the struggle is real and this is not easy. I get mad at myself when I make poor choices but I am still human and this is the rest of my life!!! I still see myself 60lbs heavier when I look for clothes I don't realize what size I actually wear. Thanks to a couple great friends I have a new wardrobe to get me through to my next victories. Thanks for all your encouragement and reading my post! My journey is still evolving as I learn, grow and struggle!

Seeing results

ok so after my woe is me post from yesterday I have to brag a little bit. I have a doctors appointment tomorrow with the weight doctor and next Wednesday with my primary care doctor, I had blood work ordered so I decided I would kill two birds with one stone and had it done this morning so both doctors could review it.

I am so excited to report that the morning of surgery my a1c was 8.5 (this is your blood sugar over a period of time) I was on two diabetic medicines, today I would like to report my a1c is 5.3 normal not any where near diabetic levels. A pre-diabetic is 6.0 to give you a guide. I am off all my meds still, can't wait to see the doctor to go over my blood work. This is the main reason, I had this surgery to help with my diabetes!!!! A long way to go but I can do this!!! I had a rough day today but I am ending it on a great note!!!!

3 month struggles

Ok so this past week has been tough for me... I have gained weight ugh.. How I am not sure because I have been going to ypthe gym walking, and even keeping to my calories but looking back I see a pattern starting.. Old habits come back real quick.. So I have been looking up recipes for low carb recipes, because I am going to do this! I have been feeling better than I have in a long time.

The plan for me to get back in the groove of loosing I am going to be making up my food ahead of time like I did at the beginning of my journey. I love the blog http://theworldaccordingtoeggface.blogspot.com I have been getting some wonderful recipes to try. For those who think weight loss surgery is easy you are so wrong!!! The head battle is real, I know I have said it before but this is tough!!! Family gatherings are tough because I want to eat like I did at my heaviest but in reality I really do not. I am going start keeping a cooler of goodies with me as the summer months are quickly approaching this way when I get really hungry I have something ready.mi am finding the 30-30-30 rule very difficult sometimes. ( stop drinking 30 minutes before you eat, eat for 30 minutes and don't drink for 30 minutes after you eat) I find sometimes I am starving by the time it is time to eat sometimes I am eating to quickly and over eating. I have to be mindful of what I am putting in my mouth. Another struggle I am finding is late night or right before bed hunger. I am getting in my protein I think it is more the mental struggle.

So it is back to the basics I have an appointment Wednesday with my doctor so I am going to discuss my recent struggles. And an update I have made it to the gym 2 days last week and walked 2 times so this is getting easier still not comfortable with the gym...

Exercise

I have been wanting to post for awhile but seems life is so busy lately. so how have things been going? Things have been going pretty good. I have been walking 2-3 days a week with a wonderful group of ladies. I had my first visit at the gym with the personal trainer on Friday that went well, but the anxiety about going to the gym was almost enough to make me not leave the house.  Walking into a gym to me is like walking into a new school and being the new student where everyone is watching you!  I know a lot of people who struggle with weight struggle with this.  I didn't I went in I did a work out even walked on the treadmill, still not sure about the gym. I am much better when I have someone to do it with. I am officially down 56 pounds.....

My Journey

Well for those who have been wondering how things or wondered if I was still blogging yes I have been meaning to blog what has been going on... Well today marks 8 weeks post op wow 8 weeks it seems like yesterday my journey began! I purchased my first new clothing item since surgery and I am proud to say it is a size smaller! My current pant situation is going to be interesting if I don't decide to go and get a few things... I am down a total of 48 pounds which is wonderful, I did hit a two week stall but the scale is moving again.

I am surprised how quickly calories add up when you are watching what you put in your mouth! I can see why so many of us struggle with our weight, so much of our foods are high in fat and calories. 16 jelly beans is 130 calories, a meal at your favorite restaurant probably is over 1000 calories half of your daily allotment or in my case all my calories for a day. Before surgery I really never paid attention to this so I am shocked.

At this point my day looks something like this:

5 am 3 egg whites with 1/4 cup of reduced fat cheese for about 165 calories and 20g of protein
Then I usually get about 16-32 oz of water in before 7:30 (because no eating and drinking and you have to wait 30 minutes after a meal to drink it is called the 30-30-30 rule)
Around 8 am I will have a snack which can be either a kind bar or yogurt which is around 200 calories.
Then I drink another 16 ounces of water
At 11 it is lunch time and for lunch I usually eat tuna and some green beans which is around 150 calories and 16 grams of protein.
More water... Lots of water
Time for another snack around 2 I usually will have some turkey jerky which is 12 grams of protein and 70 calories or a sugar free pudding which is 60 calories.
Then more water
And around 5 pm dinner time and that will vary but tonight it was a turkey soft taco which was really good (I found tortilla shells for 50 calories and 2.5 net carbs! Which were pretty good!)
And then it is bedtime my days vary but normally I get anywhere from 900-1100 calories and 60-96 grams of protein!

EARLY STRUGGLES

SO TOMORROW I AM FIVE WEEKS POST OP HARD TO BELIEVE.
 I am finding that the amount of food I put into my mouth is a struggle sometimes. Mentally I want to eat what I want and not worry about it. I still have to talk to myself in my head that is that really worth the putting on a pound for. I know I am going to battle with my head for the rest of my life but I didn't realize how much it would be at first.

As I sit here eating my frozen tilapia with 13 g. of protein and only 80 calories, I want to add french fries and some sort of veggie (now remember this is my head talking). I am finding out you can't change 40 years of bad eating habits in 5 weeks. People think weight loss surgery is an easy fix boy are they wrong, this is definitely just a help to get me started on my journey but I have to continually make the right decisions for my body.

I have not had a diet coke in 7 weeks and you know I thought I would miss it but honestly I really don't (victory number 1). Diet coke for me before surgery was my go to drink and I mean I drank it and nothing else 6-8 a day so to give it up totally and not want it is a victory. My other weakness before surgery is candy any kind of candy peanut butter and chocolate was my favorite but I would eat any.  So with Easter coming this will be a challenge for me but I can do it. I will  not eat a Easter basket full of chocolate.  The struggle with food is definitely a real struggle that so many people think you can just turn off that is so NOT THE CASE.  If you are a person who has never struggled with weight please do not judge others who do, because you do not understand. Just like I do not understand what it is like to be a drug addict or an alcoholic. We need to be understanding to those with addiction problems and not judge them or tell them how to FIX IT. I know eating less and exercise helps lose weight but before surgery I couldn't get it done. 

For my job I work in the public and because the facility is old it is not set up for Obese patients and  for a patient to not be able to fit through a door or fit in a chair (or have to ask for a different chair because they won't fit in one with arms) is as embarrassing for the person asking as it is for the person who has to help. Please when you see someone who doesn't fit the "normal" standard don't judge do not make rude comments have compassion and understanding that they may have gotten themselves in this situation but it wasn't because they wanted to get fat or become a drunk or a druggie, or for some they may be born with a handicap, but whatever the situation and whatever the reason they need compassion.  Now I don't think we need to encourage the behavior but we need to listen and if we can't help find someone who can, but sometimes we just need to talk. Sorry this post is rambling a bit, but I am coming to a better understanding of what an addiction is. I have an addiction to food that I need to change. 

4 week post op

Can you believe it has already been 4 weeks since I had my surgery, I can't it seems like just yesterday I went to my first weight loss seminar (that was a year ago in January).  

So far things have been going very well for me, I have not had any problems with eating or drinking (which is a blessing because some do struggle after the sleeve surgery). This past Friday I was running a bit late and rushing and thought I just over did it but my sugars and blood pressure were fine still didn't feel right Monday morning so went to see my surgeon. He thinks I might have just been over doing it  since I was back at work and possibly just going through withdrawal from my blood pressure medicine. I like to report that it is doing awesome, blood sugars seem to still be down. Fingers crossed I can stay off the medicines as my diet progresses. 

After the snow and cold weather we have had since my surgery I have not been able to exercise (cleaning house doesn't count or so I am told) tonight I went for my first walk it felt great to be outside (I can tell that I just had surgery) I made it for 15 minutes tonight I will take it (I am tired after my walk) hopefully I can get more in this week before it rains again. 

I am officially down a total of 40 lbs...!!!! YEAH (insert celebration here). 

Back to Work!

I thought I would give you an update on my first week back! It is great being in a routine, but today I came home exhausted. So as it is 7:00'pm now and I have been in bed since about 3:30 i am feeling better after my nap, but I am thankful it is Friday tomorrow.  My first day back it is great to see everyone's reaction as to what 30lbs loss looks like! I love talking with the patients, but being at work at 5:30 is rough somedays.

My struggles this week (maybe to much TMI here for some sorry) first taking time to eat every2-3 hours, getting liquids in after I get home from work and CONSTIPATION! Oh my the constipation was awful, miserable thanks to Milk Of Magnesia I was finally able to go (thanks to the suggestion from a friend who has been here). Since I do not want to be in this place again I have now added benefit er to my daily water to help with this common issue after bariatric surgery.

And the best part of the week I am down 39lbs!!!

Wow!

It is hard to believe that I am going back to work on Monday. Three weeks where did you go? Today I went and got my hair highlighted hoping spring is coming soon... I am tired of this weather just like I am sure everyone else is as well.  (and I am down another 5lbs yeah!!!)  (Can't tell my hair changes in this picture) This time I decided not to take a selfie and I am going to really try and take pictures along the way. (I went to put some jeans on this morning and they were to big YEAH!)

(spot wanted to photo bomb)

I am also excited to start my soft food phase of my diet so I can chew something. It is funny how you miss something so simple.  Going back to work will also get me back into a routine.

Preparing for work next week:

Trying to plan ahead, I mixed up some turkey with some pork rinds as the binding agent, some seasonings (which i think taste pretty good because I never measure anything)  last night and my husband was so nice he baked them for me this morning.(sorry no picture they are already in the freezer)

This afternoon I did a little cooking I made some crustless spinach, mushroom quiche with cheese.

 

I also went ahead and measured out some white chicken chili, some yogurt and refried beans in preparation of next week!

 

I love the little containers I purchased they are perfect for my 3oz proportions.

 

I also made some quinoa and I am not sure what I am going to do with it yet but I have found some recipes I am hoping to try of pinterest.

 

If you have any qreat recipes that I should try with the Quinoa please let me know. I am up for some new things. I also want to get some spaghatti squash to try.

What is like for a day in my sleeve?

A little history for those who don't know about the 4 stages of Bariatric surgery.

Stage 1 is pre-op diet liquid (pretty hard)
Stage 2 is post-op which is full liquid/pureed (getting a bit better)
Stage 3 which is suppose to start for me in just a few days is Soft Foods
Stage 4 is back to normal foods (of course you have to change your old habits or you will be right back to where you were, surgery is not a fix it is a tool)

So for me the last two weeks have gone like this:
Breakfast
1 egg with 1 tbsp of cheese (I love eggs so this is easy for me)
Snack 1
1 protein shake with 8 oz of skim milk which has 31 grams of protein

lunch (or snack)
3oz of refried beans with 1 tbsp of cheese 3grams of protein (I didn't like beans before surgery but let me tell you they taste good right now)

This is what a can of refried beans looks like broken down to 3 oz.

Snack 2
a Sugar free pudding (which takes care of the sweet tooth, but no protein)

Dinner
again 3oz of refried beans with 1tbsp of cheese 3 grams of protein (not much on pureed food so this has been my staple.
Snack 3
1 protein shake with 8oz of skim milk and 2 tbsp of PB2 for added flavor and protein. These shakes have 36grams of protein

And yes 48-64 oz of water a day. There is alot of drinking going on around here and no alchol involved...

I am ready to be able to chew my food again, i went to the grocery last night to start making some soft foods up and freezing them (because I start back to work Monday and I have to be there at 5:30 am so I won't feel like cooking and no McDonalds breakfast)

For now I am not to eat more than 2-3oz's at a time yes  that is not very much, so this is why I am to eat 4-6 small meals a day. I also need to get 60-80 grams of protein in a day, while I am still drinking protein shakes this is not hard but as we start introducing more foods and less protein shakes it does get alot harder.  So for now I am thankful for protein shakes.   Oh yes and I forgot to tell you about the 30-30-30 rule.   That is  you are not to drink 30 minutes before a meal, eat for 30 minutes (sorry can't stretch 3 oz over 30 minutes but definately take your time eating) and then don't drink for 30 minutes after you eat.   THIS IS HARD!!! But there is an app for your phone that has a timer to help you keep track so thankful for smartphones.

2 weeks post op

Can't believe 2 weeks have gone by already! Yesterday I saw my doctor for the first time since surgery and he said I am doing great down 30 pounds Yeah me... 22 of that has been with pre-op diet and surgery but hey it is 30 and I will take it.  I told him yesterday I feel better than I have in years!!!! I have more energy I am getting things done around the house that I would make an excuse not to do before surgery because I was always tired.   I am going to do something I hate and that is post some pictures of myself to see the progress already. Hope you can see a difference.

Dan and I in Florida 2010

 

 

And here I am 30lbs lighter sorry not a great picture... (i did what I tell my girls they are not allowed to I took a selfie in the mirror, LOL).

 

Hope you are enjoying reading about my journey. I can't wait to see the results as I look back at my blog. Thursday I have an appointment to get my hair done yeah the greys are really showing good thing you can't see them in my picture...

 

 

 

T-30 and counting

So hard to believe I am already at my 2 week post-op visit tomorrow. I have been feeling pretty good, still miss chewing food. One more week of the puréed (stage 1). I went wedding dress shopping with my baby sister yesterday in the nice snow we received. I packed my shake and water and a sugar free pudding for my outing. After our first store we went to ocharleys for lunch, I drank my protein shake (which I must say was hard not to eat a roll) . After lunch we headed down to reading road to the bridal district and she said yes to the dress, I am excited for her. And for me the best part of the day is the scale has moved again, I am down 30lbs.

INTERESTING VIDEO

SO THIS MORNING AS I AM TAKING MY TIME TO STRETCH EATING MY 1 EGG INTO THIRTY MINUTES (BECAUSE I HAVE TO LEARN TO SLOW DOWN MY EATING HABITS).

I WAS READING A BLOG POST FROM http://theworldaccordingtoeggface.blogspot.com/ AND WATCHED THIS VIDEO. I THOUGHT THIS WAS A GOOD EXPLANATION SO THOUGHT I WOULD SHARE FOR ANYBODY WHO CARES TO SEE IT.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FncRa72tizc&noredirect=1

RECOVERY

As my journey continues:

After leaving the hospital and feeling ok, considering what I just had done to my body.  The first night home I slept great in my bed no one waking me or should I say no alarms going off.    This day was still a clear liquid diet and trying to get in 48 oz of fluid when everytime you swallow it hurts is a bit difficult.   Dan is still home with me at this point so he is very helpful with getting everything I need.  Now comes friday, Dan goes back to work on friday and I am home with the girls. The girls also did a great job helping mom. Now mom had a tough day couldn't get all my fluids in it just hurt to bad, so when Dan got home I was pretty sure I need to go back to the hospital. I was just so weak, Dan took my blood pressure yep pretty low, so being the mean husband that he is (just kidding) he started pushing me to drink.  After a complete meltdown by me of course because I don't want to do it (it hurts remember).  I start drinking and finally start feeling a bit better (no hospital thank goodness). At this point I feel like I have made the worst decision in my life having this surgery, I can't eat, I can't drink, I feel like CRAP.    Saturday is a new day I am able to get my fluids in a bit better this day. As the days have past each day is a bit better. I am now actually feeling better than I have in a very long time. I am not as tired all the time (of course I am not getting up at 4 am), I have so much more energy (I actually am having to remind myself I just had major surgery a week ago).  I have been able to get at least 48 oz of fluids in and my 2 protein shakes each day now and even some pureed beans (which really taste pretty good).  And the best news off all I am now down a total of 27lbs... yeah!!

Finally

Finally February 10, 2015 has arrived. My surgery is scheduled for 1:00 have to be at the hospital at 11:30.  I wake up get my girls to get them ready for school, while I start cleaning (have to keep my mind off food), I get all floors swept, mopped, bathrooms cleaned (love a clean house). Girls leave for the bus time to get a shower and things ready to leave for the hospital. Already to leave waiting on Dan to come home from work (he called he is on his way) when my phone rings (unknown number) i recognize this as the hospital (since I work for them)."Hello" yes Ms. York did you get your surgery time change um.... no... Yes it was changed to 11:15 OK.. why did no one call me... I will be there as soon as I can. I call Dan to let him know he says he is 5 minutes away so I quickly get everything ready and head outside to wait on him so we can leave as soon as he gets here. 

We arrive at the hospital and the front entrance is very busy so he drops me off and I go in to the surgery waiting area to wait. I get called back and it is prep time (feeling nervous now).  The nurse says please get undressed place all your things in the bag (OK I am ready is what I am thinking).  So your typical pre-op iv, 100 questions (that you have answered already 100 times), doctor comes in sees you, Anesthesiologist comes goes over your history yet again. Because I am late (not really because I was never told to be their earlier) everything seems rushed. Before I know it they are finalizing everything (I ask if I can see my husband before surgery). Dan comes back to see me and wow it is time to go back. The last thing I remember at this point is them telling my husband he can walk with us as they wheel me back (I don't know if he does because that is the last I remember).

Surgery went well I was told as I am now in my room and do not remember ever being in recovery or anywhere else.  I am in pain at this point but I have a pain pump to help with this.  Nothing to drink till the next morning after your leak test. Wow you do not realize how dry your mouth can get when you can't drink or eat. I a allowed to swab my mouth which i do often. I can't stay awake at all (after effects of all the drugs). Finally I get up for a walk (not sure about this i am so tired) Dan and the nurse walk with me (I hold on to Dan because again did I mention how tired I am) we make it back to my room and I take a nap (that walk was hard work but i did good). Finally it is time for Dan to go home and get the girls so he can do what he needs to with them. I sleep OK well I try to sleep every time I dose this alarm keeps going off (come to find out it is the alarm for my 02 stats which kept dropping) Finally they bring up my cpap and hook me up then i dose back off but no the alarms still keep going off. Finally they hook my cpap up to 02 and finally no alarm. At some point i was trying to get my nurse and my remote fell in the floor and I can't get her. (my feet are in compression boots, I have all these wires and I felt panicked (again lots of drugs in my system)) So finally I am able to barely reach the phone in my room and I call the operator to have my nurse come in.  Finally my nurse comes in we are able to get me all straighted up and the anxiety subsides after I call my family in tears of course.

Wednesday morning comes around and my nurse wants me up and walking so we take a stroll down the hall better than the day before.  Back in the room it is time to go down for the leak test. Leak test is fine (the stuff you have to drink is awful... did I say how bad the stuff was you have to drink).  Back in my room it is time to drink something because everything is fine. Again I still can't stay awake so tired haven't had any pain medicine at this point because I can't stay awake as it is.  Spend most of my day dosing and another stroll down the hall. Finally Doctor comes in and says I can go home or stay another night because I have been so sleepy and still not feeling the best but again no pain meds. Dan and I decide I am going to go home and best decision I was able to sleep through the night.

PRE-OP SEMINAR

On January 12th I went to my doctors office for my  pre-op seminar.  What they do first is have a ton of patient just like you sitting in the waiting area (crowded), then they call you back one by one... guess what the do first thing... yep you guest it they weigh you!!!  So after the awful scale (have I mentioned how much i do not like the scale) you go into a room with an ma(medical assistant) and answer all the question you answer everytime you go into the doctors office, next is a room where they do the ungodly... they take your before picture and measurments... (I have avoided the camera as much as possible for years!) then you meet with the doctor to sign your consents for surgery. It is getting real now...

Once everyone has been tortured oh I mean met with the doctor we go into a large conference room where we spend the next hour and a half going over what to expect. I learned I will be on a pre-op diet for 2 weeks (I thought i was having surgery to lose weight) to help shrink your liver so it makes the surgery safer for you and your doctor.

Here is the pre-op diet we were given:
1st: You will drink 3 Protein shakes a day (ok not bad)
2nd: Here are the 6 items you may eat for the next two weeks...
1/2 cup of cream of wheat or oatmeal (not bad until you hear) only instant Plain oatmel yuck
1/2 cup of sugar free pudding (ok this I can do)
4-6 oz of fat-free, sugar-free yogurt not greek (not bad)
1 cup of low-fat soup or broth (ok not bad to you measure a cup not what you are used to)
1/2 cup of unsweetned applesauce (doable)
1 cup of baby carrots,celery,cucumber, brocoli, tomato or lettuse with 2 tbsp of fat-free dressing (ok my favorite part of my day)

During the seminar we continue to learn how things will go after surgery as well. You will start  a multi-vitamin and calcuim pill (for the rest of your life) because you will not be able to get all your nutrition from the small amounts you eat any longer.  You will be on a pureed diet up to day 20 post op then you start a soft diet till week 6 at week six you can continue to eat but no more than 3/4 cup at a time (remember you have a pouch or a sleeve not a full stomach any longer). 

I leave my seminar excited for my journey.

The beginning

To tell my story of my struggles with weight gain, weight loss, emotions of how I feel people saw me....  No I am going to start my story were I finally decided I wanted a change in my life.  As the year was closing in I was going to be 40, I didn't want to travel, a diamond braclet, no I wanted weight loss surgery.  About 7 months before I was to turn 40 I decided to go to a Weightloss seminar. So one very cold snowy night in January 2014 I did exactly that. I listened to the different options from liquid diets to surgery. I knew going in I wanted to have the bariatric sleeve surgery. For me it seemed to be the best plan, I leave waiting for a call from the doctors office to see what the next step was.  A couple days later I get a call telling me I have to wait a year! What no... I didn't see that in my insurance book. So I talk with the woman at the doctors office we decide I should come in and get started.

So the day comes to see the doctor and I am excited, nervous and scared. First off you get weighed on the scale and let's face it none of us like to be there (at least I haven't since the 8th grade). So my weight pops up and I just want to cry how did I get here?  So we go into the nice little doctors room and they nice lady goes over my medical history... I am still 39 at this point and I have high blood pressure, diabetes, sleep apnea I have had several surgeries already. (This is why I am here to make it better). Doctor comes in says I think you are a great candidate see you in 3 months. Ugh the waiting begins.

So three months I go back and again the first thing you do is get on the dreaded scale and I gained a pound ugh really... Ok so now it is see the Nutrionist blah blah same thing you always here change this do this and you leave thinking ok I did it once I will do it again maybe I won't need surgery. Then you leave and life goes back to the same as the last 39 years. And three months already rolls back around and again the scale but this time it has gone down a few pounds oh thank goodness (I am not a total looser). Doctor comes in and says well now I need to see you every month (insurance change of course) ok. So each month it is this roller coaster of down a few pounds up a few pounds until December 2014 and all requirements have been checked off and doctor says time to get you scheduled.  Really a year has gone by, how?  The date is February 10, 2015... And this is how my journey begins.

 (Disclaimer I am not a writer you will see typos, grammar issues but this is for me you can read or not read that is up to you!)